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Risk Reduction
| "The
only person who ultimately can prevent rape is the rapist. The
survivor cannot come to a fair assessment of her own conduct
until she clearly understands that no action on her part in
any way absolves the rapist of responsibility for his crime."-Judith
Herman, M.D. |
One
of the most important issues that our society faces is the prevention
of sexual assault. However, it is important to remember that only
the rapist can prevent rape. While you can take basic steps to reduce
the risk of being sexually assaulted, you can't prevent
sexual assault from occurring. Because the responsibility for preventing
rape is on the rapist, you should never place blame and think that
you could have prevented rape or sexual assault.
Here
are some steps you can take to reduce the risk of sexual assault.
Danger Signals
Beware of anyone
who:
- Does not
listen to what you say, ignores you, or talks over you
- Invades
your personal space boundaries
- Does what
they want regardless of what you want
- Makes you
feel guilty if you are not comfortable having sex
- Is excessively
jealous or possessive
- Drinks heavily
- Deals with
stress by raising his/her voice or uses physical force
General recommendations for reducing risk
- Set sexual
limits. It is your body, and no one has the right to force
you to do anything you do not want to do. The sooner you communicate
firmly and clearly your sexual intentions the easier it will be
for your partner to hear and accept your decision.
- Be assertive
on your dates. Do not do anything you do not want to just
to avoid disagreement or unpleasant interaction.
- Maintain
control of your comfort level. If you feel things are getting
out of your control, be loud in protesting, leave, or go for help.
- Use a
confident voice and body posture. If you want the person to
stop, look directly at him or her and say "NO" in a firm, serious
voice.
- Trust
your intuition. If you feel uncomfortable, scared, or pressured,
voice your discomfort or leave the situation.
- Avoid
secluded places.
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Being
intoxicated is NOT a legal defense for rape.
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On dates or in social situations
- Don't leave
your drink unattended
- Get your
own drink and open it yourself
- Have your
own ride home
- Avoided
secluded places
- Avoid people
who ignore your feelings or try to make decisions for you
- Always let
somebody know where you are going to be
- Set limits
for yourself
- Be assertive
and say what you want
At home
- Leave some
lights on when you're not at home
- Use the
"peepholes" when someone is at the door
- Never allow
a stranger to enter when you are alone
- Use deadbolt
locks when home alone
Walking
- Plan your
route and walk confidently
- Avoid alleys
and other isolated spots
- Be aware
of who is around you
- If you are
being followed, go into a store or knock on a door for help
In your car
- Have your
keys out and ready when walking to your car, especially at night
- Check the
back seat and underneath your car before getting in it
- Keep your
car doors locked, even when you are in it
- If possible,
carry a cell phone
On the phone
- If you receive
an obscene phone call, just hang up
- Don't let
anyone know that you are home by yourself
Important Reminder
No one asks to be raped, even if:
- You feel
she/he is teasing you
- She/he dresses
provocatively and leads you on
- You think
"no" means "yes"
- You have
had sex with her/him before
- You have
paid for dinner and/or given her/him expensive gifts
- You think
she/he enjoys being forced or persuaded to have sex
- She/he is
under the influence of alcohol or drugs
Guidelines for prevention
- Be clear
about how your partner feels. If you are confused about the
messages you are getting, ask for clarification.
- Do not
assume you know your partner's comfort level in intimate situations.
You and your partner may not want the same degree of intimacy.
Do not pressure your partner into any sexual activity.
- If your
partner is not comfortable with having sex, do not feel rejected
as a person. Your partner is expressing a decision about participating
in a single act at that time.
- Be clear
that sexual excitement does not justify forced sex.
- Realize
that desire for affection is not the same as desire for sex.
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